The past couple of months have flown by with blank days and haziness. So much has happened yet there never seems the words nor the time to explain the moments, the memories, the people, that have passed. I hope to be able to express my words on this page within a matter of upcoming weeks. I feel as if all the moments, the memories, the people, deserve some of my time in explaining their greatness and their impact on my life.
Last night after spending what felt like all day on campus, I was finally able to come home and retreat to the fridge. I ate some O'Charley's leftovers for dinner, but they didn't quite satisfy my sweet tooth. None of the sweets we had were the "sweet" I was looking for. Unsure of how to satisfy this craving, I sat in front of the fridge, contemplating whether or not I wanted to run out to Kroger to get the perfect treat. I'm not sure how my thought process ended up where it did, but the next thing I knew I was spreading spoonfuls of Mom-mom's homemade strawberry jam onto the bottom of a bowl and throwing it in the microwave to melt it into a strawberry syrupy-like mix. I pulled out the vanilla ice cream, threw a couple scoops on my strawberry goodness, and my taste buds were satisfied. As you can imagine, the mixture of cold vanilla ice cream and warm melted strawberry jam tasted just as heavenly as it sounds. So, if you ever need a little treat, something not too sweet, this mixture will be just enough to satisfy your cravings. And boy, if it doesn't, you can melt it in my bowl, because it is sure to satisfy mine.
College life has given me loads of homework, a brain full of more knowledge than I thought possible, loads of free time (although spent doing that loads of homework I mentioned) and lots of time to think and reflect on life, memories, and my future. I'm not quite sure what's scarier: the fact that my life is progressing at full speed and I feel like I may not be able to smell all the roses I am passing, or the fact that 18 years have passed and I feel like I don't remember as far back as yesterday. Speaking in terms of the future, I of course have goals set, people I want meet, places I'd like to work, awards I can only imagine of winning, and hopes of curing the incurable, maybe one day. In terms of now, I am sitting in a library that is so big I can't even find the steps to get the 3rd, 4th, or 5th floors. I'm anticipating my 2 o'clock chemistry recitation listening to Pandora and the rain pour down from that murky gray sky that I can see right through the glass ceiling. But yesterday, I remember sitting on the sofa, doing hours of chemistry homework, reflecting on my psychology exam, and finding out the I got a perfect score on my first college speech. College has graced with some great classes that I love, and some others that I can't stand to sit through. Let's say that I LOVE my chemistry class, and got a 90% on my exam 1, when the average was a mere 60-something%, but I CANNOT stand my chemistry lab. I don't mind my TA or my lab partner or even the experiments, but the lab supervisor seems to be so angry at the world that she offers us no guidance in anything that we need help with, she's always so short and snippy, and makes something that is supposed to be enjoyable, a class that I spend Monday's dreading. College has also graced me with a lack of variety of food to eat. You have the option of cooked greasy food or cooked greasy food. Then once you choose with cooked greasy food you'd like to eat, you get to wait in a line for an hour with all the other students that decided that they also wanted this certain type of cooked greasy food also. After eating your cooked greasy food, you get to walk that daunting 30 minute walk to your next class, rolling in a couple minutes early, just in time to save your seat and get to take a breath before you are bombarded with so much knowledge there's absolutely no way you could possible remember it all unless you spent the rest of your life on this one class. On the plus side of things, I found out that I get my braces off January 12th (the date is already set in stone so there is NO WAY that I am going to let it get changed), just two days before the spring semester starts back up. I've also got to spends loads of quality with Christa and when Christian gets back for break, he's not going to be able to separate us. It's like I've gained another big sister. When I take the time to look at my goals for the future, it seems like I can't even find the end of my list. I want to graduate undergrad, then head off to med school (which is its own dauntless list in itself), graduate from there with a M.D. P.h.D. (hopefully), but before I can do that I'd like to shadow a bunch of different doctors (yet another list), and get some research time in lab, I'd love to become well known in my program, and make it on a committee for DanceBlue (a HUGE reason I came to UK), and then there's my goals as a doctor (which is even longer than any other list I have). In my future I see great things, but I see lots of time spent accomplishing these things, and not a lot of free time, which could be argued as both good and bad.
This past Wednesday I was hanging out with my best friend Allison, and bored out of our minds, we went out and did a little photo shoot. I don't have the pictures from it, but here's a little sneak peek:
I was sitting her just staring at this blank page, not really sure what to write. Munching on some nerds, one of my absolute favorite candies ever, when I managed to spill them all over my lap. Those darn things. But it left me thinking, everything can fall apart and spill out, but there's always a way to put it all back together, whether you're putting it away in a box or just munching on it. Not at this moment that I have anything to compare it, but it's just a thought that needed to be remember.